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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24219091">In Any Lifetime</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadeNew/pseuds/MadeNew'>MadeNew</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sasuke gets a second chance, not that Naruto thinks he needs it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 06:41:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,849</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24219091</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadeNew/pseuds/MadeNew</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sasuke's thirteen, he wakes up crying for a life lived long ago and a boy he's never met.</p>
<p>When he's sixteen, he remembers the boy's name.</p>
<p>When he's nineteen, he decides it's time to find him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>626</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>In Any Lifetime</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay, so first things first, credit where credit is due! This was inspired by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23384611">Familiar</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinomiAkai/pseuds/KinomiAkai">KinomiAkai</a> If you haven't read that, or checked out any of Kinomi's stuff, really, go do it! You will not be disappointed.</p>
<p>Anyways, I was really excited to take a stab at this particular idea. I hope y'all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sasuke’s thirteen years old the first time he wakes up screaming Naruto’s name.</p>
<p>Itachi’s there in a heartbeat. Sasuke’s whole body is rigid, fists clenched at his sides, eyes fierce-red with pain and mouth raw and filled with a word he’s never heard before, a name he can’t understand and has tried to swallow, but now it’s hanging sharp and cold in the air and he can’t <em>breathe</em>.</p>
<p>“Sasuke,” Itachi whispers, running one hand down his arm, working to loosen the muscles while the other pushes Sasuke’s hair back from his sweaty forehead. “Sasuke, it’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe.”</p>
<p>Every nerve in his body is screaming at him to get away, and he reacts before he can process <em>why – </em>he flings himself away from Itachi’s touch, presses against the wall, hands up and defensive, panting, eyes wild.</p>
<p>Itachi freezes. “It’s just me, little brother,” he says softly. “It was just another nightmare.”</p>
<p>He’s wrong. Sasuke’s no stranger to nightmares. He’s had them ever since his parents passed when he was nine, and he’s learned to handle them. This – this is something else entirely.</p>
<p>But it’s fading already, and he can’t remember why he’s supposed to fear his brother or why looking at him makes him cry or why he knows in his heart that his eyes should be red instead of black. He takes a deep, shuddering breath and holds it for a count of four, then exhales for a count of four. He does it again and again, just like the therapist Itachi insisted he see taught him, and after a few minutes, he’s relaxed enough to crawl back across the bed to his brother.</p>
<p>Itachi hesitates for only a second before putting his hands on Sasuke’s shoulders and tugging him closer. “Are you alright, Sasuke?”</p>
<p>He nods slowly. “Naruto,” he says again, although he doesn’t know why. The name dangles poignantly in the air. “Itachi. I need…” He falls silent in frustration, shoving his hands through his hair. He’s thirteen, and he <em>knows </em>he’s not making any sense. “Never mind.”</p>
<p>“What do you need?”</p>
<p>He knows his brother won’t accept the answer he wants to give – which is, <em>nothing, let me sleep – </em>so he goes for the next best thing. “Tea.” His throat hurts, ripped to shreds by a name he doesn’t know having screamed its way out of his body.</p>
<p>Itachi nods and leaves, and it's only minutes before he comes back with tea. The cup is only halfway gone when Sasuke falls back to sleep. In the morning, all he can remember is a pair of blue eyes – and the echo of a name, already fading.</p>
<p>He spends the morning throwing up, and Itachi lets him stay home from school and drink tea and say nothing, because the name is gone and nothing else matters.</p>
<p>Itachi pushes him to go to the therapist, and he does, having learned years ago that that is not an argument to be won, but she says the same things he expects: trauma from the death of his parents, yet unprocessed, manifesting as nightmares.</p>
<p>He tells her that isn’t it – he’s had that, too, knows what it feels like, but she doesn’t believe him. He can tell by the way she purses her lips and writes on her notepad. He knows he can’t prove it, and besides – her eyes are brown. Plain.</p>
<p>He only wants to see blue eyes, now.</p>
<p>He spends months looking for them, but even people who have blue eyes don’t have the right shade, right expression. He stops sleeping well, plagued by dreams he can never quite remember. Six months pass before he freezes beside Itachi in the hardware store, snatches a blue paint sample from the rack, and informs his brother that he’s spending the weekend painting his bedroom. Itachi raises an eyebrow but obligingly drops a couple of foam rollers and brushes into the cart, and forty-eight hours later, their small apartment smells like paint and dust, and Sasuke’s walls are blue.</p>
<p>He sleeps a bit better, after that. He feels like he’s being guarded, like kind eyes are watching over him in his room, even if the name for them escapes him now.</p>
<p>He’s sixteen the next time it happens. He wakes up crying this time, with snakes crawling across his blurry vision, a desperate cry for a boy he’s never met tangled in his throat. <em>“Naruto,” </em>he whimpers and jolts out of bed. He knocks his books off his desks in his frantic hurry to grab a pen, and he scrawls the name into his arm so deep it hurts, turning the skin red around the black ink.</p>
<p>He wakes up the next morning with an aching heart and a name on his soul that he never wants to forget, even if he can’t quite grasp why it matters so dearly. From then on, he writes Naruto’s name twice a day, once when he wakes up and once when he goes to sleep, to make sure he never loses it again.</p>
<p>He’s nineteen before he’s able to remember the dreams for more than a moment when he’s awake. When he does, he goes to his desk and writes down everything, everything he can possibly remember, and he cries until his eyes are red and he has nothing left to give, except – Itachi. He goes to Itachi’s room and sits at his brother’s bed until he wakes. “I love you,” he tells him, words given quietly but without reserve.</p>
<p>Itachi pulls himself upright. “I love you too, little brother. What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>Sasuke stares at his eyes, eyes that grew up too soon, that have guided Sasuke for half his life, that have borne more than his share of pain. For all of that, they are not eyes that have killed his family, and Sasuke will not burden him with that memory. “I need a day off today. Don’t ask questions.”</p>
<p>Itachi pauses. “Are you safe?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Will you be safe today?”</p>
<p>“Yes. Those are both questions, by the way.”</p>
<p>Itachi raises an eyebrow. “Necessary ones. Keep your phone on you. Will you be home for dinner?”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry if I’m not.” He plays quietly with the information in his head. “I need to find Naruto.”</p>
<p>He’s not sure he’s ever loved his brother more than when he simply nods and stands, going over to his desk and pulling out a flash drive. “Here.” He hands it to him. “It’s a list of every Naruto in the city. I started compiling it after your first dream. Thankfully, it’s not too common a name. I hope you find what you’re looking for, Sasuke. Be careful. If something happens, call me.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Sasuke says, and Itachi only raises an eyebrow and nods.</p>
<p>He decides to narrow down the list before he tries to find these people in real life, and as it turns out, he’s made a good call. Some simple online searches shorten it to only five people, two of which have no social media, and three of which have blue eyes of indeterminable shade.</p>
<p>And yet.</p>
<p>These memories, they’re still half-formed in his head, clear only when he focuses on them, only when he wants them to be. He closes his eyes and thinks hard about Naruto, tries to remember beyond his eyes, and everything overwhelms him again.</p>
<p>He looks up ten minutes later with tears on his cheeks and immediately clicks the file Itachi’s made on Naruto Uzumaki.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Sasuke doesn’t have a good explanation for what he’s doing outside of Rasengan Coffee Shop at five in the morning the next day. They don’t even open until six, and even then, he needs to be at work by eight.</p>
<p>He’s not making sense, not even to himself. He should be at home, getting ready. He interns for Itachi full time during the summer. In the fall, it becomes part time when he goes back to school. He doesn’t take days off. Today shouldn’t be any different.</p>
<p>But it is, because he’s sitting across the street from a coffee shop that has a ridiculous toad logo, and he’s not even sure the person he’s looking for will be there. Sasuke doesn’t know if it was a stroke of good or bad luck that Naruto clearly has no idea how to filter his social media. He knows a ridiculous amount about the blonde’s life before ever speaking to him.</p>
<p>Which has led him to suspect that there’s a decent chance Naruto’s opening Rasengan today, and now Sasuke apparently can’t leave it well enough alone.</p>
<p>He needs to see those eyes again.</p>
<p>The world feels fragile around the edges, misty and vague, and he feels as if it could shatter at any moment. He’s afraid of what happens outside of this, as if he’s about to step outside of Konoha again, reaching for something that might destroy him –</p>
<p>Laughter breaks through the fog. A young man comes running up to the store, dragging someone behind him. “It’s already five fifteen! Sakura’s gonna kill us – she only took the summer classes because I promised her we wouldn’t fuck up –”</p>
<p>“Naruto, I guarantee she knows we’ll be fifteen minutes late at least,” Kakashi says wearily, and Sasuke’s heart is in his throat. He stands, staring at them. Naruto drops Kakashi’s sleeve, fumbling with a ring of keys he’s pulled from his pocket, then messing with the front door. Kakashi leans against the wall and sighs, looking far older than Sasuke’s sure he has any right to be.</p>
<p>He stares at Sasuke, and his face breaks into a slow, wicked grin. Naruto glances at him, turns, and then those blue eyes are staring right into Sasuke’s and Sasuke can’t <em>breathe –</em></p>
<p>A hand slaps down on his shoulder, and he jumps, reflexively slapping it away and dodging back into a defensive stance, trying desperately to call a power to his eyes that no longer exists.</p>
<p>And freezes.</p>
<p>“Well, young man? Are you here for some training or a cup of joe?” Might Gai says, standing tall, hands on his hips, beaming so brightly that Sasuke feels like squinting.</p>
<p>“Um,” he says dumbly.</p>
<p>Gai jerks a thumb at the building behind Sasuke, and he looks. <em>Fountain of Youth Dojo. </em></p>
<p>Of course it is.</p>
<p>Sasuke starts laughing. He can’t help it. His eyes blur with tears, he laughs so hard, and he wipes at his face. “You own a dojo,” he chokes out. “Across the street from Ka – from a coffee shop.”</p>
<p>“As you can see!” Gai booms. “My young protégé will be here in minutes! We are going to do some exercises that sharpen both the body and mind. Are you up for a challenge, lad?”</p>
<p>“Sasuke,” he corrects. “Sasuke Uchiha.”</p>
<p>“Sasuke! Are you up for a challenge? Lee will be delighted to have a rival!”</p>
<p>“You and your rivalries,” a bored voice interjects. Kakashi has strolled across the street, hands lazily in his pockets. He looks like he could not give less of a shit, but his mere presence gives his interest away. “Who’s the new student, Gai?”</p>
<p>“Sasuke Uchiha!” Gai booms, one hand on his hip as he grabs Sasuke by the shoulders as if they’re old friends and he hasn’t only learned Sasuke’s name a few seconds ago. “He’s going to be rivals with Lee!”</p>
<p>This makes Sasuke think of his actual rival back in Konoha, and he turns, eyes seeking out Naruto’s figure. The lights are on in Rasengan now, that ridiculous orange toad brightly lit, and he can see a blonde head swinging back and forth and then – Naruto slides into view, using his socks to let himself glide across the floor, singing into a broom.</p>
<p>Sasuke snorts.</p>
<p>Kakashi follows his eyeline and groans. “Excuse me, Gai. I have to go wrangle a twenty-year-old toddler. Meet after work for a grocery shopping race?”</p>
<p>Gai’s smile turns predatory. “Last one to be ready loses!” He snags Sasuke by the collar and drags him into the dojo. The door clangs shut on Kakashi’s lazing protests that the race should be competition enough. If Gai hears him, he doesn’t show it.</p>
<p>Sasuke barely has a second to look around before he’s tackled by a blur of green and black, and he reels from the impact. He doesn’t react so strongly this time, although he does pull free. He’s pretty sure he knows what’s happening.</p>
<p>“Sensei! Have you found another student?” Rock Lee cries, eyes glittering with excitement as he eyes Sasuke. “That is good! I’m ready for a challenge!”</p>
<p>“I’m sure he will present one, Lee! Sasuke! Let’s begin!”</p>
<p>Sasuke spends the next hour in an insane workout with two of the most intense people he’s ever met. He considers leaving and explaining the mistake – but he’s not sure how he’d explain that, exactly, and he realizes two things: first, this provides him an easy way to watch Naruto until he decides to approach him – which is proving more difficult than Sasuke expected; and second, he learned a lifetime ago not to underestimate Lee and Gai. He doesn’t know what the consequences would be of leaving early, but he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to find out.</p>
<p>At the end of the session, Gai shoves a flyer under his nose advertising the more standard class times as well as his prices. When Sasuke raises an eyebrow and goes to explain that he can’t pay for that – and he won’t ask Itachi – Gai interrupts before he can get more than a couple words out. “If you’re here for our five fifteen class every morning,” he tells him, “it’ll be half price. But for every class you skip, the price doubles!”</p>
<p>Sasuke smiles despite himself. He works out a deal with Gai: he’ll be there every weekday, but weekends he needs to spend the mornings at home. He’s not sure that’s actually an issue with Itachi, but Sasuke’s pretty sure he’ll need those two days to recoup.</p>
<p>Six weeks of this pass before he decides he really needs to do something. Watching Naruto has started to become less than sufficient. If he’s lucky, he catches moments of conversation and bright smiles that he flashes indiscriminately at anyone nearby. It’s not enough, anymore. He needs to meet him.</p>
<p>He doesn’t know if it’ll be the right thing. What if Naruto remembers? What if he doesn’t? What if meeting Sasuke forces him to remember?</p>
<p>But then – Lee, Gai, Itachi, Kakashi – none of them have remembered. Sasuke thinks he’s probably safe.</p>
<p>It’s a Friday morning when he finally gets up the nerve. He showers after his workout, which has been particularly grueling, and tries to pretend his heart isn’t in his throat when he crosses the street and slowly, deliberately enters Rasengan, which is still and empty in the early morning. Naruto jumps when the door jingles, sending the pyramid of empty to-go cups flying. “Shit!” the blonde exclaims. “Fuck – wait – no – sorry – I – what can I get you?” He smiles scratches the back of his head sheepishly.</p>
<p>Sasuke snorts. “Is that how you greet all your guests, moron?”</p>
<p>“Hey!” Naruto scowls at him. “No. Just the assholes.” His eyes go wide as if he’s just registering his words, and he claps a hand on his mouth. “Sakura’s gonna kill me,” he mumbles through his fingers.</p>
<p>Sasuke smirks. “You gonna take my order?”</p>
<p>“Depends. What is it?”</p>
<p>Sasuke’s suddenly not sure he’s thought this through. “Um. Coffee.”</p>
<p>Naruto’s eyes catch his again, and he waves abstractly at the board above his head. “Um, the entire left half is coffee, man. Wanna be more specific?”</p>
<p>“…Black coffee. Plain. Hot.” He pauses. “To-go,” he adds as an afterthought.</p>
<p>Naruto gapes at him. “No. I won’t make it. That’s the most boring thing you could possibly order. At least look!”</p>
<p>Sasuke dutifully focuses on the menu. “What the actual fuck is a double unicorn mocha? No – not the drink, I can read, idiot. What’s a double unicorn?”</p>
<p>“A unicorn with two horns! Or two unicorns, take your pick,” Naruto declares cheerfully. “Is that what you want? It’s so good! I put extra sprinkles on mine, so if you want –”</p>
<p>“No, white chocolate? Disgusting. Just black coffee.”</p>
<p>“Wh – <em>disgusting?!” </em>Naruto looks horrified. “It’s double white chocolate <em>and</em> caramel!”</p>
<p>“Exactly. I don’t like sweet stuff.”</p>
<p>Naruto just stares at him for a solid ten seconds before Sasuke raises an eyebrow and he snaps back into motion. “Sorry – fine, plain boring black coffee. What’s your name, boring coffee guy?”</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh. </em>
</p>
<p>That hurts. Sasuke didn’t expect that to hurt. “Sasuke Uchiha,” he says, painfully reintroducing himself to the one person he loves more than anything in the world, in any lifetime.</p>
<p>Something flashes in Naruto’s eyes, but it’s gone too quickly for Sasuke to hope it’s anything but his imagination. “Sasuke…” Naruto mutters, scribbling it onto the paper with a smiley face.</p>
<p>Sasuke wants to scream. This was a bad idea, s<em>tupid – </em>why had he come here? In hopes that Naruto would remember him, remember a lifetime of pain, much of which had been caused by Sasuke? In hopes that Naruto experiences the same phantom aches in one arm? Why? Why would he even want that for his best friend?</p>
<p>He’s so damn selfish, and for a moment, Sasuke hates himself all over again. “Never mind,” he says. “I – I have to go.”</p>
<p>“Wait – Sasuke –”</p>
<p>Sasuke spins on his heel and walks out the door, moving as quickly as he can. His head is pounding and his heart hurts, and he misses him already but it’s <em>too much</em>, too much to ask him to remember, too painful to tell Naruto his name as if Naruto’s never screamed it on the brink of death – he never should have come here –</p>
<p>“Sasuke!” A hand latches onto his elbow and spins him around. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”</p>
<p>Sasuke pulls away and stares into those damn eyes, too sincere, too powerful. “Why do you care?” he hisses. “You don’t even know me.”</p>
<p>Naruto’s hand drops, and he smiles almost shyly. “Yeah, I – I guess not. But…I can tell you’re hurt, and I – I don’t like that. It – I can’t let it go.”</p>
<p>Sasuke’s voice catches in his throat. “Usuratonkachi,” he whispers.</p>
<p>“I – what?”</p>
<p>“Nothing. Never mind.” He shifts, fully facing Naruto. He can’t walk away. He <em>can’t. </em>“Do you have anything on that menu that isn’t disgustingly sweet?”</p>
<p>Naruto beams and grabs his hand, pulling him back towards the shop. “I’ve got the perfect thing, but you can’t tell anyone. It’s kind of a secret menu, ya know? But Kakashi – uh, the owner – he invented this one, and he calls it Chidori, and it’s mostly just caffeine, which makes sense, because he basically mainlines the stuff – I think it’s gross, but that probably means you’ll like it – I’m Naruto, by the way –”</p>
<p>“I know," Sasuke says before he can help himself.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“You’re – you’re wearing a name tag, dumbass.” Sasuke prays that that’s true. He can’t quite think past the fingers that are tangling with his.</p>
<p>So what if Naruto doesn’t remember? Maybe he never remembers. Maybe that’s for the best.</p>
<p>Maybe this is still a good place to start.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It is, as it turns out, a very good place to start. So good, in fact, that Sasuke is late to work for the first time ever. He hopes this in and of itself will cause Itachi to cut him slack, but he can’t quite make it past his brother’s desk without being yanked into his office by a tone that defies argument.</p>
<p>“You may be my brother, and I will support you in whatever happens outside of this office,” Itachi says in a voice of steel, “but if you do not respect company time, I will find someone who does. Don’t be late again. Understood?”</p>
<p>Usually, Itachi’s short lectures are more than sufficient to keep Sasuke on track. He has no desire to let down his brother, but this time, he can’t even pretend to be half as sorry as he should be. He’s smiling like a schoolgirl with a crush, and he can feel his phone buzzing violently in his pocket, and he <em>knows </em>it’s Naruto.</p>
<p>“It won’t happen again,” he assures him nevertheless. “I’ll plan better from now on. Good?”</p>
<p>Itachi’s eyes flash with pleasure as he takes in Sasuke’s obvious happiness, and Sasuke makes a conscious effort to tamp down his excitement. He carefully arranges his features to an impassive expression and nods calmly at his brother. “Am I training the new hire today?”</p>
<p>“Yes. Neji Hyūga. I think you’ll be pleased with him. When you go back to school, it’s my intent to have him take over your full-time position.” Itachi hands him a file.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Sasuke murmurs, rolling the name through his bank of old memories. “I think he’ll do just fine.”</p>
<p>He manages to ignore his phone until lunch time, at which point he can’t resist checking it. He’s sent Neji off for the hour, with zero complaints from the stoic but determined man. Sasuke’s perfectly content to eat outside at a small table behind the building. It’s supposed to be set up as a patio, but the alley’s not exactly open and friendly, which leaves it isolated – perfect for Sasuke.</p>
<p>Naruto certainly didn’t waste any time texting him. Sasuke left Rasengan at seven fifty; the first text was sent at two minutes after eight.</p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>Hey, it’s Naruto!</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I hope I didn’t make you too late. My bad. Sometimes I kinda ramble. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Also, Sakura says that I probably shouldn’t have started you on Chidori. Apparently it’s not super good for you, and she doesn’t even want Kakashi to drink it.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Maybe you should stick to black coffee.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I can add some spices, if you want!</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Make it fun : ) for boring coffee guy</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>That was a joke</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Sakura thinks that you should try her tea, but honestly, Sasuke, it tastes like shitoiwagh</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>She saw me typing</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>But seriously it tastes like shit</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>She’s brilliant and that tea probably does make you better</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>But only because you SURVIVED it without losing your taste buds</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Or dying</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Like, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and stuff</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Fuck you’re probably at work</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Or this isn’t Sasuke</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>If this isn’t Sasuke, and he gave me a fake number, I’m sorry, random stranger!</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>If it’s Sasuke, text me later!</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>It’s Naruto, btw. Can’t remember if I said that already. Shit.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Sasuke covers his mouth to keep from laughing. What a damn idiot.</p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>It’s me, moron. I’m not in too much trouble. It’s fine. I’ll try Sakura’s drink next time, if she’s there.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>He hesitates.</p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>I’m off weekends. Want to do lunch?</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>The next month passes in a happy blur. Sasuke takes his time relearning Naruto. He’s inevitably, undeniably the other half of Sasuke’s heart, as he’s always been, as, Sasuke thinks, he’ll be in any lifetime, but there are differences in the details.</p>
<p>In this life, Naruto and Sakura both help manage Kakashi’s coffee shop. The money is good, and Kakashi has become like family to them. He works around their hectic school schedules. Sakura is, naturally, pre-med, and Naruto’s working towards a degree in social work. He’s inspired by his adoptive father, Iruka, and the way he lights up talking about him and his adoption never ceases to hit Sasuke’s heart. He wonders if Iruka and Itachi ever met in Konoha. He can’t remember, but then, he doesn’t think he would’ve cared.</p>
<p>It isn’t like that, this time.</p>
<p>Sasuke talks to Naruto nearly every day and sees him as often as he can. Naruto works mornings and takes night classes so Sakura can do the opposite. Kakashi has hired a couple of part-timers to cover for the rare times they overlap.</p>
<p>Summer is nearly over by the time Naruto meets Itachi, and honestly, if Sasuke had known ahead of time, he would’ve stopped that plan long before it started. But of course he didn’t because that isn’t how Naruto works. He doesn’t plan; he simply lives in bursts of spontaneous joy. He is a thorn in Sasuke’s side, and Sasuke can’t imagine how he lived without him.</p>
<p>This particular day, though, Sasuke thinks he could manage it. He’s leaving work early to go buy his books for the next semester, and he’s made the mistake of telling Naruto what time he <em>plans </em>to leave rather than the time he actually <em>anticipates</em> leaving. The result is a bubbly, babbling blonde planted cheerily on Itachi’s desk when Sasuke walks in thirty minutes later than he intended, and Sasuke completely freezes.</p>
<p>“Hey, Sasuke!” Naruto laughs, waving at him.</p>
<p>His eyes snap to Itachi, who gives him a wickedly self-satisfied grin. “Little brother, I can’t believe you haven’t yet introduced me to your <em>Naruto.”</em></p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
<p>“He clearly doesn’t require an introduction to talk to you,” Sasuke snaps, turning his glare on his friend.</p>
<p>Naruto smiles back, completely unphased. “Don’t be like that, Sas – I brought lunch! And I ordered my books, too, so we can eat and then go together!”</p>
<p>Sasuke can’t think of a reason to refuse him – he doesn’t even <em>want </em>to refuse him; he just wants Itachi to stop looking so damn <em>smug –</em></p>
<p>“Fine,” he mutters. “Let’s <em>go, </em>usuratonkachi. Itachi, this file is done. The others I’ve passed to Neji. He should be fine on his own for a few hours.”</p>
<p>“Very well, Sasuke.” Itachi looks positively gleeful, and Sasuke thinks that in this lifetime, he’s never feared anything more. “Naruto, it was a pleasure to meet you. I’ve never met someone with eyes <em>quite </em>that shade of blue.” His gaze cuts to Sasuke, who suddenly remembers the color on his walls that let him sleep at night. Fuck. He doesn’t have a contingency for this. Even in their past life, he never had a contingency for Naruto-Itachi team-ups.</p>
<p>“Uh, thanks!” Naruto chuckles and runs his hand through his hair before swinging off Itachi’s desk. “Nice to meet you! I’ll see you next time!”</p>
<p>“Be home by midnight, little brother,” Itachi calls, and Sasuke flips him off as they walk out.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry – are you upset? I didn’t mean to make you mad. I just wanted to surprise you.” Naruto eyes him carefully, the takeout swinging from his hand. “I know I went to Ichiraku’s, which is my favorite, not yours, but I just thought –”</p>
<p>“Shut up, moron,” Sasuke says softly. “You just…surprised me. It’s fine. Okay?”</p>
<p>Naruto runs his gaze steadily over Sasuke for another heartbeat before accepting it. “Okay. Oh! You’ll never <em>believe </em>what Kiba did today –”</p>
<p>And Sasuke thinks that he may be the only one who remembers, but that’s okay. So what if Naruto can’t remember how he turned the world upside down for Sasuke? If he’s forgotten that he was the only thing that grounded Sasuke when everything else was lost?</p>
<p>He brings ramen and goes with Sasuke when he runs errands, and Sasuke’s happier than he can ever remember being, and that just has to be enough.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The first time it happens, they’re sprawled out studying, taking up two full tables at Rasengan while Sakura minds the shop. Well, Naruto’s taking up two full tables – Sasuke’s taking up the space for his laptop and a single textbook. Naruto has three sets of notes, four different books, his laptop, and a wide array of pens in all different colors that he’s using to coordinate his essay outline. From the amount of times the colors overlap, Sasuke doesn’t think it’s going well.</p>
<p>Sasuke has one earbud in as he listens to music, which is why he doesn’t notice that Naruto’s nodded off until he’s in a deep sleep, cheek flat on the shiny page of one of his books. He smiles slightly at the sight and reaches over to run his fingers gently through messy blonde hair. “Naruto,” he says softly.</p>
<p>The blonde’s face twists painfully, and Sasuke frowns. He presses a little harder.</p>
<p>“Naruto, wake up. You’ve got an essay to write.”</p>
<p>“Sasuke!” Naruto shoots up, blue eyes wide and frantic, the page from his book tearing a little as he rips away from it, leaving little lines on his cheek – Sasuke reaches for him instinctively, sees the look of panic and – <em>oh –</em></p>
<p>“I’m here,” he says immediately, letting his hand just barely graze Naruto’s shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m here.”</p>
<p>Confusion blurs Naruto’s face. “I – Sas – I don’t…” He rubs at his face, closing his eyes, and one hand goes to rub at his left arm, as if soothing a pain that shouldn’t exist –</p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
<p>“I’ve gotta go.” Sasuke stands abruptly. “Late. Sorry. This was – stupid – I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Sasuke – wait –”</p>
<p>“No. Stay here, Naruto. I’ll – I’ll text you.” It’s a lie, but he can’t tell the truth, which is that he’s a fucking idiot to think that this would be okay, and he grabs his laptop and book and runs out of Rasengan, sprints around the corner before Naruto can follow, and waits, holding his breath until it’s safe to continue home.</p>
<p>He’s an idiot. He should have <em>known. </em>He just – just <em>assumed </em>that after Itachi didn’t remember, after nothing with Lee or Gai for weeks, after not a flicker during Neji’s traiing – even Sakura didn’t give him a second glance as anything other than Naruto’s friend – but <em>of course </em>Naruto’s the exception to the rule – he’s the exception to every rule Sasuke has ever known –</p>
<p>And now he’s going to have to walk away from him.</p>
<p>And he’s fucked because he’s never been able to do that. Not for long. Not for good. Naruto has never let him.</p>
<p>Only this time – this time he might, because they’ve never experienced this before. He doesn’t know how Naruto will react, not really.</p>
<p>His mind runs in circles the entire way home, and he sags uselessly onto his bed. He’s already second-guessing leaving. What if the damage is done? What if Naruto remembers now, and Sasuke’s just abandoned him again, for nothing?</p>
<p>What if Naruto doesn’t remember, but seeing Sasuke forces him to?</p>
<p>Does Naruto want to know?</p>
<p>Did Sasuke?</p>
<p>He thinks about that last question, about whether or not he’d have chosen this, if someone had given him a choice.</p>
<p>Yes.</p>
<p>He’ll always choose Naruto, every time.</p>
<p>And Naruto has always chosen him, even when it was beyond stupid to do so.</p>
<p>He pulls out his phone to see a series of frantic worried texts and then a set of confused apologies, Naruto brushing off his emotional wake-up as a reaction to a strange dream. Sasuke tells him not to worry, that he’ll see him later.</p>
<p>He successfully avoids him for all of three days. He answers texts minimally, blows him off when he asks to hang out. He knows better than to cut him out entirely, but maybe – if Sasuke gives him space, maybe the memories will stop. They took years to come to Sasuke, so maybe if he just gives Naruto a little distance –</p>
<p>But on the fourth day, he leaves his morning lecture to find Naruto firmly planted on the hallway floor, half-asleep on his hand. His gaze grazes vaguely over Sasuke’s figure before it snaps into focus and Sasuke’s so gone, so lost, he’s never been able to resist those damn <em>eyes –</em></p>
<p>“Sasuke! Don’t walk away from me.”</p>
<p>As if Sasuke could. Naruto’s pinned him to the floor with a look.</p>
<p>“I know – I know you’ve been avoiding me, and I just –” Naruto scrambles to his feet and runs his hands through his hair, looking frustrated. “I don’t know exactly what’s happening, okay? I know – it feels like I know you. Which is stupid, because I do know you, okay, but this feels different. And it’s not always – it’s not always fun, or good, but it feels like I’m missing out on something important, and I want it. I want it, Sasuke, so you can’t run away from me anymore. Okay?”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Sasuke whispers. He can’t say anything else. He can’t fight him – he’s never really wanted to fight him, not like this –</p>
<p>“No, seriously, I get to decide if I want – wait, what?” Naruto looks surprised. “You’re listening to me?”</p>
<p>“Yes, moron, I’m listening to you.” Sasuke frowns. “You’re right. Not like I’ve ever been able to convince <em>you</em> to listen to <em>me, </em>anyways.”</p>
<p>“I – okay, asshole.” Naruto scowls at him. “So you’re gonna stop with this bullshit now?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“But you know what I’m talking about.”</p>
<p>“…Yes.”</p>
<p>“Wouldn’t this be a lot easier if you’d just tell me?”</p>
<p>“No.” Sasuke spins on his heel and starts down the hallway. “Not going to happen, Naruto. You wanna figure it out, you have to do that. I won’t avoid you. That’s as much as I can promise. Take it or leave it.”</p>
<p>“But –” Naruto jogs to catch up with him.</p>
<p>“Take it or leave it, Naruto.” He turns and makes careful, deliberate eye contact. He’s not wavering. Not on this one. If Naruto wants to remember, if he’s able to remember – fine. Sasuke won’t hurt him again by leaving him. But like hell if he’s going to help him along the way.</p>
<p>“Fine.” Naruto makes a face, but he grabs Sasuke’s hand and pulls him along. “Come on, I’m starving. I skipped breakfast because otherwise I wasn’t gonna make it here before your lecture got out, and your schedule is ridiculous, Sasuke, I didn’t know when else I’d be able to find you –”</p>
<p>“Stalker,” Sasuke mutters. “And an idiot. You need to eat, moron. Come on.”</p>
<p>Naruto beams. “Alright, asshole! You’re paying. Let’s go!” His fingers twist with Sasuke’s, and it’s all Sasuke can do to hang on for the ride.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It’s another three weeks before the dam breaks.</p>
<p>Naruto joins him one Saturday morning for his run. Sasuke’s learned that taking weekends off is more for his mental sanity and a break from Lee and Gai rather than for his body, and he prefers the soothing rhythm of his feet on the trails. He’s been meeting Naruto in the park every Saturday for over a month now, and he doesn’t expect this day to go any differently than the past ones have, until he sees him.</p>
<p>There’s something in Naruto’s eyes when he arrives. Something uncertain and hesitant.</p>
<p>He hates it.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” he asks immediately, as soon as Naruto is close enough to hear him.</p>
<p>Naruto gives him a soft smile. “Yeah. Just…some weird dreams.”</p>
<p>Sasuke folds his arms and raises any eyebrow.</p>
<p>Naruto waves him off. “Nothing distinct, really. Like…everything’s fuzzy. Let’s just run, okay?”</p>
<p>“Fine. You <em>tell </em>me if you need something.” Sasuke makes sure Naruto looks him in the eye and agrees before he nods and starts a smooth, steady pace. Usually, it’s a casual run, work that makes him sweat but nothing brutal.</p>
<p>Not today.</p>
<p>Today, for every step Sasuke takes, Naruto pushes him further. It’s a race, and before he knows what’s happening, they’re flying, swooping down along the river between the trees, zigzagging around each other on and off the trail, chasing, pushing – grinning – <em>training</em> –</p>
<p>They’ve gone far longer than their usual distance when finally, at long last, they catch each other’s eyes and call a mutual halt. Sasuke flops down on the ground in the shade of a tree, panting but smiling, and Naruto flings himself beside him. They lie there, listening to the rush of the river, and Sasuke’s arm <em>aches </em>but this time – this time –</p>
<p>He takes Naruto’s hand in his and tangles their fingers together, as Naruto has done so many times.</p>
<p>It hurts, but he breathes and squeezes their hands tight, and it’s <em>good.</em></p>
<p><em>“Oh.” </em>The tiniest sound breaks from Naruto’s lips. “Oh – <em>Sasuke –”</em></p>
<p>Sasuke sits up and stares at him, taking in every inch of his body, his expression, the broken realization in those blue eyes – the joy – the pain – <em>oh –</em></p>
<p>He scoots backward so he’s leaning against a tree and takes Naruto in his arms, dragging him between his legs so his back rests against Sasuke’s chest. He holds him tight as the blonde falls apart, crying so hard he shakes, and Sasuke buries his face in the back of Naruto’s neck and tells him he’s sorry again and again, pressing kisses into the sun-warmed skin, desperately hoping that it will be enough to keep everything from breaking.</p>
<p>He doesn’t know how long they stay like that. He’s not sure when he starts crying too, or when he stops. Eventually, he feels Naruto’s breathing even out, and he slows his own to match. “I’m sorry,” he whispers into the nape of his neck. “I love you. I love you so much. I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>Naruto laughs, and it’s choked but sincere. “What are you sorry for, asshole?”</p>
<p>“Everything. Everything then. Making you remember now. Putting you through it all over again.” He tightens his grip on Naruto’s torso because even now when he knows he should let go, he <em>can’t. </em></p>
<p>“Okay, that’s enough.” Naruto pushes at his arms, chuckling when Sasuke refuses to relax. “Okay – fine – just let me turn around to look at you then, okay?”</p>
<p>Sasuke loosens his hold just enough to allow it.</p>
<p>Naruto squirms around until he’s kneeling facing Sasuke, looking him in the eye. “You don’t get to tell me what I want. Or how I feel. We’ve had this conversation before, but clearly it hasn’t gotten through your thick damn head. So here. Sas – I was remembering before I met you.”</p>
<p>Sasuke freezes.</p>
<p>“Not like – not like you did. You seemed to know all of it. But I was starting to remember, and then I saw you outside Gai’s dojo, and – I watched you. I couldn’t – I didn’t know why. I didn’t know what was going on, but I wanted to be near you. Wanted to be with you, and then you came into the store and it just got <em>worse –”</em></p>
<p>Sasuke looks away, flushed with shame.</p>
<p>“No – quit that.” Naruto grabs his chin and forces his face up. “Listen to me. I was always going to remember. I was already feeling all of this. All you did was help me figure out <em>why. </em>Turns out it’s pretty nice to have all this shit make sense.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Sasuke breathes.</p>
<p>“Yeah, <em>oh</em>, you dumbass.”</p>
<p>“Pretty sure that’s you.”</p>
<p>“Oh, now he’s a smartass.” Naruto smirks for just a second before it softens into a smile. “Sasuke. You should fucking know this. I’m always gonna choose you. Remembering you – I can’t believe I ever <em>forgot.”</em></p>
<p>“I know what you mean,” Sasuke says. He’s lived most of his life without Naruto, and he still doesn’t understand how it happened.</p>
<p>“The rest of it is kinda – blurry, though. Like, if I focus on it, it comes together, but otherwise – mostly I just remember you.”</p>
<p>“Me too.” Sasuke doesn’t know what to think, what to say, what to do –</p>
<p>Naruto kisses him.</p>
<p>Sasuke’s pretty sure his brain’s broken – he can’t think – can’t do anything but kiss Naruto back and drown in this – whatever it is – he’s so fucking <em>lucky –</em></p>
<p>He holds him close and kisses him until he can’t breathe and even then, he considers that maybe this is just the way he dies, and he’s okay with that. “I love you,” he says, because right now, it’s the only thing that matters. “It’s always been you.”</p>
<p>“I’m so glad you found me.” Naruto brushes his hair back out of his eyes with a tenderness that makes Sasuke’s chest ache. “I love you. No matter where we end up, find me. Or I’ll find you. It’ll always be you, too.”</p>
<p>Sasuke tugs him down and tucks his chin on the top of a messy blonde head. “I love you,” he says again, the most honest promise he can ever make. “For the longest time, the only thing I could remember was the color of your eyes.”</p>
<p>Naruto starts shaking again, and Sasuke looks down, worried, but –</p>
<p>“Itachi makes so much more sense now.” Naruto’s covering his mouth with his hand, suppressed laughter just barely breaking through.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“He wouldn’t shut up about <em>blue – </em>how my eyes were the same color of your bedroom – did you paint your bedroom like my eyes?”</p>
<p>Sasuke goes red. “Shut up.”</p>
<p>“You did!” Naruto squeals. The laughter breaks out of him in full force, and he buries his face in Sasuke’s chest, shaking them both and starting to wipe tears from his eyes. “God, I love you.”</p>
<p>“Love you too,” Sasuke mutters.</p>
<p>He’s going to <em>kill </em>Itachi.</p>
<p>Naruto presses a kiss to his collarbone between giggles.</p>
<p>Tomorrow.</p>
<p>He’ll kill Itachi tomorrow.</p>
<p>Today, he doesn’t think he’s going anywhere without the blonde idiot in his arms.</p>
<p>Fuck that – Naruto pulls him down for a kiss, and he realizes – he’s never going anywhere without him again. He tells him that, as he pulls him back and looks at those stupidly expressive eyes. Tells him in every possible way he knows how. “I’ll never leave,” he promises. “I did enough in one lifetime.”</p>
<p>Naruto laughs at him. “Sasuke,” he says firmly, “it’s not like I’d ever let you go.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you all for taking the time to read!! I'd love to hear what you think! Did I do it justice? I hope you enjoyed it!! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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